Today was so different because I knew it was a day leave from work. Not my usual day off. So naturally, we were in bed for as long as our backs allowed us. If there’s one thing our not-so-comfortable bed is good at is getting us out of bed.
I’ve been a night owl since childhood. Changing this habit needs more than 30 days to stick. I have been waking up at the same time every day since I started full-time work in February, but, unfortunately, the routine hasn’t fully turned me into a morning person yet. In fact, working full-time hours made me more of a night owl because the rest of the things I want to do for myself happens at night. By the time I have had de-stressed, it’s already 12am and it’s another hour until I fully fall asleep. Good bye 8 hours of full rest.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being a night owl. It’s when ideas formulate for people like me, and we just happen to be more productive when the sun is asleep. I am more active when the sun is out, as in, it is when I don’t want to do anything but fun, leisurely things. At night, it’s work mode. Just like this journal, I write this at the end of the day, I zone out and tell a story. I don’t often get the chance to edit it, but finding the story is the point of the journal, anyway. If I’d write this in the morning, a whole ritual is often needed before I get to zone out and tell a story: grab a notebook, ideally a laptop if I have one, go to a cafe, have a coffee and then tap the pen on the pages before I scribble anything and then cross it out. Oftentimes, the ritual is what gets me demotivated. Here, at night, on my bed, it has become part of my routine to type in a story, and as soon as I hit send, I can lie in bed ready to go. A good period to the day gone by.
But how did I become a night owl, when schools in the Philippines start as early as 8am, anyway? Well, just like today, my day job starts at 8.30am. I’d get up at 6.30 (ideally) but really I’d get up at 7. Try and do yoga then start getting ready. When I was in school, I’d try wake up as early as 6 to try and eat breakfast, ideally, but really, I’d get up at 7 to hurry and get dressed. We lived 30 minutes away from my school, and often traffic makes it an hour. I was always running to my classroom to make it to homeroom. Then at night, when we get home after taking a shower, dinner, and ideally homework (I never do homework), I’d be at the computer doing the fun work. My creative side comes out to play, I’d build websites at a time when there weren’t any site builders, WordPress themes, blogging platform and such. The Internet was still for the adults. Not everyone had Internet. But I was there before everyone was. I tried blogging before I knew what it could do, except my topic was a celebrity I was obsessed with at the time. I was on the computer as long as I possible could.
Summers were my favorite time of the year because I can be on the computer all day and my only breaks were meals and when Dad comes home from work and he needs the computer. That was it. I had longed for a laptop then, and I didn’t get one until I had a part time job. I remember I had moments when I’d sleep at 7 trying to catch up on photos for my website because a celebrity went to an event. I must have had a million followers then. Again, at a time when “followers” were view counts secretly tucked away in an area where only website administrators can see those counts.
The night was when I was freer to do anything I wanted and express my inner creativity. In the morning, I had to play the role of a student, or the sister, or the daughter, or the granddaughter. A very characterized role that is true on some level, but they were different roles. At night, I was alone with myself, my thoughts and I can become me. Still somewhat true to this day. Somewhat because I have to share the night now with my husband as I barely have a quiet spot to myself. We share space, noise, light, everything, and not because we’re married. Our living situation in a studio house, with the same days off, just forces us to live this way. We found our ways to ourselves and for now, it’s working for us.
As the sun sleeps, the mind wakes. One day, I’ll get to live the life that allows me to just be an owl at night and do fun things in the morning. But for now, we’ll play our part in how the society thinks we should do with our lives.
