It’s been six years since we said “I do”. It wasn’t anything grand or greatly planned at all. We went to a marriage council for our ceremony, wore a green dress I thrifted 3 years prior (that I barely fit now), found the nearest burger joint for our reception, and went then went home with my family who was visiting Invercargill at that time. This was done with the idea that we’ll go home to the Philippines to do the grand wedding. Well, six years later, we haven’t had the grand wedding.
Culturally, you see, it’s not accepted by many families that unmarried couples stay under the same roof. Of course, not everyone follows this. I don’t think it’s even tradition anymore, it’s just a strict rule imparted by families. It sort of was in my family, but it wasn’t explicitly said. Dad was a conservative, so was his father. Thus, that rule was imparted when I decided to go to Invercargill.
Initially, I went to Invercargill to get away from life. He was there with his family so it naturally became one of my choices. Before we officially dated, I tried life in Auckland but my incompetent young self knows nothing about life. It had become more about survival than living. Needless to say, I did not have the time of my life in Auckland. Somewhere in that experience, I had also lost myself. I went back to Wellington but Wellington did not feel the same as when I left. I changed.
Invercargill felt so far away. I knew no one. I was away from everyone I knew. I wanted to be isolated from the life I once lived because when you’ve been shaken into reality, you can never go back and it was painful to be reminded of what you’ve lost. I was indeed shaken to reality about living independently, so did being in a relationship. But I was stubborn about my relationship, I had to make it work.
Mico was my first romantic relationship. We met personally, but our relationship was majorly online. Before him, there was no one but my imagination. I had created an ideal relationship in my head that does not involve online relationships and I was the center of his existence. Naturally, I was fucked. The reality is there are two in a relationship and doing it all online is an extreme challenge for someone who has such a wild imagination. Mico, on the other hand, wasn’t taking my bullshit and is so in tune with his reality that he’s barely has a romantic bone in him. We were two extremes that were somehow brought together by fate. Or well, a conference in Wellington.
Many happened between getting together and getting married. Ultimately, we were the type that pulled each other from our extreme ends of the spectrum we seem to hold and met halfway. He learned to be creative in life, while I grounded down a bit, well, a lot. He taught me a lot about life, and I hope I did the same for him. The decision to marry each other was both ours. Culture only turned on the light bulb.
It is not a romantic story one would expect to hear from a married couple. We were not ill-fated lovers, nor high school sweet hearts, nor were we being challenged by a disease. We simply were two people who happen to have met each other at the best time of our lives, came together at the worst time of our lives. Everyday we grow stronger both as an individual and as a couple. Nothing special but that’s just perfect for us.
Maybe there will be a grand wedding one day but only when we can afford to do a big one. Right now, the “I do” we said in the beginning was enough. We had everyone we needed to see it happen. Cheers to the next years together.
PS. This was suppose to be yesterday’s story but didn’t get to finish til late today. Tomorrow I may put in two stories to get back on track.
