Yup. As expected, days are not always great regardless of being at peace with my neglected self. Sometimes, it’s just accepting that and living life the best we can is a win on its own.
Yesterday, I was told I don’t know my identity. And while there is some truth to it, I felt offended. That’s why I am in such a dark state at the moment. It felt like every time I make inner and mental progress towards more understanding, I am shot at the foot and suddenly I’m back to square one, with a completely new battle.
To be honest, it makes me wonder if it’s a technique to keep me going (and paying). Or do I really come across as someone who does not know herself. Maybe I just don’t know how to put it into words because I don’t have the words to say it. I often speak in visual or in clothing. How I present myself is either a way for me to shield myself or to show myself, and I know when I am doing which one. But somehow it felt like I had to explain that but very poorly that I end up being offended.
Fuck it.
